LA Hosting Auditions

I'm not gonna lie, it has been a little difficult going from this

To this

No that's not me in the two piece Where's Waldo dress, and no I'm not saying I'm the bee's knees, but it IS what the competition at my last hosting audition looked like; And this girl didn't even win worst dressed. The audition experience in LA has been a trip to say the least. I don't even know how to explain it exactly. It's not just that a lot of the girls come to castings looking like they are hitting up a nightclub right after, or that you're standing in line with every reality TV star that has ever been on camera, for me it's more the fact that in NY a host was a host and an actress was an actress. For the most part. As a host you usually showed up dressed professionally (I'm not talking a suit set here people just classy) because you are deemed to be an expert in some area, and if you're an actress then you show up dressed for whatever the role requires. Well in LA it seems the only rule is the more skin the better and at this audition I was clearly the nun at a reform school.

I left NY on a high note after hosting New Years Eve for a second year, and felt pretty confident coming to LA with NY experience under my belt. I guess I should have thought again. I don't know if I expected Hollywood to open its arms and exclaim, "Oh thank goodness, we've been waiting for you!" but I also didn't expect it to be as hard as it has been. In no way do I consider myself the best thing that has happened to hosting since Ryan Seacrest, but I do pride myself on being prepared, professional, and pretty good at what I do. I'm not sure if LA agrees.

This particular audition called for a host who can also produce and write her own show. Finally, I thought, all my hard work in NYC as a one-woman producing and hosting machine was going to pay off! All the long hours of writing and pitching shows was going to give me the clear advantage here! Well after standing in line for an hour (oh yes in line, like a cattle call line), and enduring one reality star in front of me describe how she sold her wedding pictures to US weekly for a million dollars, while another asked everyone in line how old they were and when she got to me exclaimed, "30??!! You're almost 30??!! Wow we are getting old up in here!" I was definitely ready to go in.

The audition started off well, it was more of an interview than anything and I can definitely give a mean interview, so I was feeling good. WAS being the operative word here, until I did the unthinkable. They asked me to describe something I had watched on TV the night before and because I knew this question was coming I had prepared a 45 second Talk Soup style rant about one of my favorite shows. I launched into it confidently, and even thought I saw the producer give the casting director an approving nod behind the camera. As I came to the end of my copy it was clear that something was amiss. Where was the knee slapping, the high fives, the standing ovation?? Crickets. I don't even know if Hollywood Blvd has any but I'm sure I heard them.

The casting director took a deep breath and asked me if I had written that. "Yes" I answered enthusiastically, "Yes I did!" Silence. The casting director then told me that was unfortunate because they absolutely hadn't asked us to write anything and that they just wanted me to improvise. She also informed me that they had loved me during the first part of my audition but now, well now, I had really screwed it up by writing something. Ummm what? Hold please. How did this happen?? I just got chewed out for coming to an audition prepared, with the ability to show them I could write and produce and I was in trouble?? Epic. Fail. Needless to say I was perplexed and then annoyed that I suddenly felt like a child being scolded by her teacher. So I left and promptly looked for someone to punch in the face. OK that's not true but I was pretty bummed to say the least, but still decided to learn something from the experience. That is, next time you go to an audition, make sure to have your tits out and your brain tucked away where no one can see it. And Scene.

:)